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SO... I AM TIPSY

SO... I AM TIPSY, which isn't a good thing because I'm an addict/alcoholic. Recovering sorda,. What I mean is I probably get "drunk" once every 3 months but when I do...it"s bad. Or good, however you want to look at it. I have the tendency to blackout. Wine (my preference) begins to taste like water and I don't remember how I got into bed. At least these years I know I'm going to wake up alone, which wasn't the case before. You never knew. God that sounds so scary now. I remember "back in the days" I used to be able to call anybody on a list of about 20 people to come join me. BAM!  They were there within half an hour. With more liquor (at that time my preference was beer), smoke and some weed. BAM! Just like that. Now... I don't have the need to call anyone. I'm fine just listening to my music all by myself, JUST KIDDING. i have no one to call. Either because I stopped drinking daily or because I fell in love with opiates and isolated myself for too long. When I came back to earth they were all married, children, jobs... No, Careers. That's not all though. Actually the reason for my celebration (I was almost going to use quotes around "celebration" but didn't cause I will Quote myself to death, obviously, and I say myself because I know no one else will read this). Good, Anyways my celebration or maybe my goodbye party is to my relationship. OF COURSE, RIGHT? What else does a girl do when she gets broken up with, that is unless you have it together, know how to handle your emotions, aren't afraid of feeling life's feelings (pain,loneliness, fear of change, etc.) BUT THAT'S NOT ME. It has been literally 1 year 1 month 6 days and some odd hours/ I knew it wouldn't last, knew I told him too much when we were friends at first and knew, he too, had drug and alcohol problems. By no means is this story of a failed relationship any more special, unique, different or rare than an other. Simple 2 people meet, both are single, attracted to each other, develop a good friendship (tell each other every secret), hook up, and become a couple, fall in love. And now were not